


Do Better

by beautiful_light



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, threats of suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 17:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautiful_light/pseuds/beautiful_light
Summary: Changkyun likes Kihyun. He likes him as an older brother, a senior, a bandmate, a roommate, a friend. But when they go out on a 'friendly' date, he starts to feel something more.





	1. Ask me out?

**Author's Note:**

> Ok... This is the changki date from my "Remedy" fanfic... But you dont need to read that one to understand this one... In short, this is a stand alone fic... Again, the plan is to make this a oneshot, but who knows what'll happen!

They've wrapped up their last promotion for their album, and now they get free time off to rest.

  
Changkyun was lying on his bed listening to Andra’s “Rise up”, wondering what he'll do for the rest of the free days he has. He was bored. The other members were planning to either go out or go back home and see their families.  Changkyun, doesn't really like going out, and he needs to save on money so he can't really go home.with a sigh, he decides to head to the company instead and use one of the practice rooms to write some rap lyrics.

  
He was almost out the door when a hand grabs him by his arm, he turns to see Kihyun smiling at him.

“hyung, you need something?” he asks,

Kihyun frowns at the question “you going somewhere?”

“yeah, i was gonna go to the practice room and write some lyrics for a bit” Changkyun replies,

“oh, how ‘bout i join you? Got nothing to do anyways” Kihyun says.

 

And with that they head off, at the company they find an empty cramped practice room vocalists use for voice lessons.

  
Changkyun immediately sits on the corner chair and starts writing a few phrases on his notebook,  Kihyun plays around with the keyboards a bit before randomly singing Bruno Mars’ “Treasure”. A few hours go by, and Changkyun finally notices Kihyun has gone silent, he lifts his head up and finds the elder looking at him while smiling.

  
“you looked really engrossed into writing” Kihyun comments,  “you almost looked kinda cool” he adds.

Changkyun smiles, “only kinda, hyung?” he asks, Kihyun laughs, “sooo, about that date? Remember? When i gave you that kimbap?” he supplies when the younger gives him a puzzled look.

Changkyun giggles as he remembers the promise “you still remember that hyung?”, Kihyun pouts as he waits for the younger to answer his question,  “wanna go out tomorrow instead hyung?” changkyun asks, Kihyun grins widely and nods in approval.


	2. You tryin' to kill me?

The following day, Changkyun woke up early ( and by early, I mean he woke up early in the afternoon), he sluggishly got out of bed, hair sticking out on all directions, eyes half lidded as if he hadn't slept for more than 12 hours. He went straight to the kitchen to put some food in his grumbling stomach, crouched in front of the fridge scavenging for some leftover food, he hadn't noticed the presence of another person beside him.

 

"you find what you're looking for?"   
Changkyun clearly startled, fell back on the floor, looking up he saw Kihyun all dressed up with an annoyed look on his face.   
"hyung, you scared the crap out of me" he complained, Kihyun looked unimpressed and replied "you forgot" he walked out of the kitchen slamming the door to their shared room shut, leaving Changkyun on the floor clueless as hell

"man, what'd you do to piss off Kihyun-hyung?" Joohoen asks, as he witnessed the entire event,

"i dont-" Changkyun began, but then it dawned on him, he forgot about their date.

He got up and quickly entered their room, finding Kihyun on his bunk back turned against him.

"hyuuuuung, I'm so sorry, I forgot" he pokes the elder's back, however the former refuses to acknowledge him.

"hyung... Kihyun-hyung, please don't be mad... It's still early, we can still go out" he pleads, but still his pleas were ignored, huffing, he climbs on Kihyun's bed, crawling to his side, he wraps an arm around his waist

"what are you doing?!" Kihyun asked, he was still clearly annoyed at the younger, but Changkyun hugging him is making it difficult to stay that way.

Changkyun hovers above him, trying to make eye contact, "Kihyun-hyung, forgive me?" and oh God, Kihyun almost looses it, _Changkyun's voice should be illegal,_ he thinks as he looks at the ceiling, but all thoughts go flying out the window when the younger hugs him tightly nuzzling his head on the crook of the older's neck. A bright red flush appears on his face, lucky for him Changkyun can't see his face.

  
"i got it, stop being so clingy already" he says as he tries to pry the younger off of him, Changkyun looks at him and smiles, his heart just melts and he forgets how to breathe.

"hyung, tomorrow I promise we'll go out, okay?" 

"okay" Kihyun replies, _if I'm still alive by tomorrow because I swear you're trying to kill me,_ he thinks to himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will they have their date? Who knows? Ahahahaha... Maybe never!


	3. When it rains, it pours

Grey skies.

That's the fist thing Kihyun sees as he wakes up. He looks over the bed across his to find the maknae sleeping soundly.

 _Welp, looks like the date won't be happening today. Again_.

Kihyun slowly gets out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen to brew some coffee.

Coffee makes everything better.

He pours himself a fresh cup and plants himself on the couch, looking out the window, willing the weather to change. But sadly, he was no mutant, just a sad sad boy whose date keeps getting cancelled.

He hears light footsteps from the kitchen, and assumes it's Wonho.

 _Wonho, who a few weeks ago broke up with Changkyun. Wonho, who broke Changkyun's heart. Wonho, who got to go on fucking dates with the maknae, got to hold his hands, got to hug him, got to kiss him.._..

His thoughts abruptly stop as he feels a light tap on his shoulder, he scowls at the person who interrupted his emo thoughts but the scowl was replaced by that of surprise when he sees Changkyun looking down at him

  
"hyung, it's too early in the morning for you to be looking so pissed off"

  
"we can't go out today" Kihyun states

  
"the weather is mocking me, I woke up early and this is what i get" Changkyun replies "hyung, make me something for breakfast, I'm hungry..." he adds

  
Kihyun chuckles as he stands from his seat and heads to the kitchen, since the weather is cold, he decides to make some congee. That and they only have rice, eggs and spring onions in the fridge. As he was stirring the pot, making sure that the rice won't get over cooked, Changkyun creeps up on him and leans over him, placing his chin on Kihyun's shoulder.

  
"hyung, that smells yummy" he comments,

  
Kihyun fights the urge to turn around and kiss the living daylights out of the boy, because seriously hearing Changkyun's voice so close to his ear and so early in the morning was making him think naughty things. Instead he hums in reply, hoping to God Changkyun doesn't notice the blush settling on his face.

"waaaah, that smells sooo good!" Wonho exclaims as he walks in the kitchen, and as soon as he walks in Changkyun immediately backs away and exits the area, mumbling a good morning to Wonho as he leaves.

Wonho sighs as his eyes follow the maknae, "he's still not comfortable with me" he says out loud,

"of course, you broke his heart" Kihyun replies, not really intending to reply but he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Wonho whips his head towards Kihyun, eyes narrowed, clearly pissed off at the former's off handed comment. "what do you know about us? Huh?"

  
At that Kihyun looses his temper, "i don't know much, hyung. But i do know that for the past weeks Changkyun cried himself to sleep at night. I know he couldn't eat as much as usual because he was upset. I know that every time he sees you and Hyungwon being close and laughing together, his heart breaks again and again!"

  
"Kihyun-hyung!" the shout reverberates across the entire common area.

 

Wonho and Kihyun look towards the kitchen counter to find Changkyun's horrified expression. Kihyun opens his mouth, but no words come out.

The rest of the members enter the living room clearly puzzled at what was happening.

 

Changkyun turns and heads to his room grabs a coat and bolts for the door before anyone could stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to sneak in a bit of angst... I mean... Who knows if this'll still be a fluff by the time I'm finished with this.... Ahahaha  
> Also, i know the personalities of the members here are starkly different in real life, but this is fiction so my angst gets the best of me.


	4. Come find me

Walking around aimlessly along the streets of Seoul, Changkyun regrets not double checking the coat he grabbed.

In the middle of the heavy downpour, there he was sopping wet with only a cardigan as his protection.

A f**king cardigan.

He had half a mind to run back to their dorm, but that would defeat the purpose of him storming out.

  
 _Yeah, storming out in the middle of a storm. Ironic_.

 

He looks at the coffee shops wishing he could go in, but he of course forgot his wallet.

He keeps walking around, until he reaches a local park. There weren't any waiting sheds there so he went to the next best thing, he sat underneath a kiddie slide to take shelter from the rain. He was still wet and cold but at least he could rest his legs a bit.

He kept thinking about the argument between Wonho and Kihyun. He didn't know what started the fight, but when he heard Kihyun listing down all his hurts for Wonho to hear, his pride was shattered to say the least. He never wanted Wonho to find out he was still hurting.

And besides, it wasn't Kihyun's place to say anything, he was just his hyung.

He was almost dozing off, exhaustion getting the better of him, when he thought he heard someone calling him. He waited for a while, listening if he was indeed correct in hearing his name or if he was becoming delusional. But then he heard it again, muffled by the sound of the rain, but it was clearly his name. The call was getting louder, getting nearer but something in his gut made him stay under the slide. Waiting.

Then he saw him.

Kihyun.

Soaking wet, wearing nothing but his shirt, jeans and slippers. He was shouting Changkyun's name, his face full of worry, head turning in all directions. Changkyun almost felt guilty.

Almost.

He was still mad at the older for what he'd done, and so he stayed silent, unmoving, quietly observing Kihyun's movement. A few minutes, Kihyun had gone to some place else, and Changkyun sighs, was he being mean? Probably, but he was still mad.

A few hours pass by and the rain had finally let up, he decides it was time to go back to the dorm. When he returned, the clock had read 7 pm, he hadn't realized he had been out the whole day. Hyunwoo was waiting for him, and gave him a quick lecture about him suddenly going out but the leader took pity on the boy and instructed him to take a warm shower and then go to bed. Changkyun obediently did as he was told and when he had settled in his bunk, he saw that Kihyun's bed was empty.

_He couldn't still be looking for me, right?_

 

He tries to push the thought away burying himself into the warmth of his blanket trying to fall asleep. He couldn't. He kept tossing and turning, acutely aware of the sound of footsteps outside the room. He heard Minhyuk and Jooheon crawl into their respective beds, but still no Kihyun.

 

Sighing, he looks at the clock, 12 midnight. He sits up and quietly climbs down his bed, he goes to the living room to find a sleeping Hyunwoo on the couch. He must've been waiting for Kihyun. He taps the older on the shoulder, Hyunwoo stirs and sees Changkyun standing in front of him.

"kukkung, why're you awake?"  
"can't sleep. Hyung, I'll wait for Kihyun hyung instead, go sleep in your bed" Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to object, but gave in to the younger's suggestion, he ambles to his bedroom wishing Kihyun would return soon.

 

3 am.

Changkyun hears the door click open, he runs to the entryway and finds Kihyun, shirt still wet clinging to his body, exhaustion evident in his face. He grabs Kihyun's hand and leads the older to the bathroom, he runs the warm shower, turns to Kihyun and says "shower first" with that he walks out and shuts the door.

Kihyun slowly strips himself of his clothes, his arms feel like lead and his legs like jelly but he gets in the shower, warm water washing away some of the exhaustion. Then he lets himself cry.

Cry, because of the relief he felt that Changkyun was back in the dorm, safe and sound.

He spends a good 30 mins just standing there before he decides it was time to get out. He hears a knock on the door, before the door opens revealing a maknae with clothes in his arms. Changkyun hands him his clothes and exits the bathroom once more.

Once fully dressed, Kihyun was about to head to his room when he sees Changkyun still sitting on the couch. He approaches the younger quietly, until he was within arms reach. He crouches down to see if Changkyun had fallen asleep, but he finds that the younger was crying, tears rapidly falling from his eyes. Kihyun reaches out to wipe the tears from the maknae's face but Changkyun grabs his wrist, surprised by the act he looks at the younger's eyes, face contorted in pain.

"I'm sorry hyung" Changkyun utters in between sobs, "i- i saw you at the park" he began "i saw you but i didn't answer because i was being stupid" he breaks down and sobs more and more.

Kihyun's heart breaks from the sight and gathers the younger in his arms, shushing him, whispering comforting words and kissing the top of his head to assure the younger that he wasn't upset. Kihyun was exhausted, so he pulled Changkyun down on the couch to lie down, hugging him close to his chest, rubbing soothing circles on the younger's back.

And they succumbed to sleep like that, clinging to each other, leaving all their concerns and unspoken questions for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst! Am sorry!!!! But there was rain! Cliché? Yes! Do i regret writing this? Just a bit. But i had to write this to make Changkyun look flawed and a bit hateful, i didn't want him to just be pitiful and poor... Also, I know Kihyun was too forgiving here, but he's a boy in love, and love is blind... Or so they say.... Anyways... I guess fluff will come in some other chapter... Also a big question! When will they ever go out on a date?!?!?! Ahahaha.... Maybe never? Oh but my description says they will!


	5. Come back to me

A few days after the 'storm' incident, Changkyun had become attached to Kihyun, almost never leaving the older's side. Kihyun didn't mind though, relishing in the fact that the maknae wanted to be with him even if he knew it was out of guilt.

"hyung! It's sunny outside, let's go out today" the younger suggests, Kihyun was about to agree when out of the corner of his eyes he sees Wonho's disapproving look.

 _What's his problem?_ He thinks.

"ya, did you forget we've to practice our song for next week's special stage" he replies,

Changkyun pouts and looks up at his hyung cutely "we'll practice when we get back? Pleaseeeee.... We've been cooped up here for days! I'm bored hyung!",

Kihyun sighs, he really can't win against the younger.

It's funny how he even tries knowing the result would be the same, him always giving in to whatever the younger wanted.

"fine, but we've to be back by 5pm, ok?" Kihyun says. Changkyun embraces the older tight before running towards their room to change.

Wonho settles in front of the tv, "you shouldn't spoil him so much" he says.

Kihyun looks down at Wonho,

_is he trying to pick a fight with me?_

"he's a good dongsaeng, I'll spoil him however i want hyung" he replies.

Wonho looks up at him, fists clenched tightly "you really... Is that how you talk to someone older than you?" anger evident in his voice,

"hyung, it's too early to start a fight" Kihyun says, with that he walks back to his room to change clothes.

Wonho couldn't believe it.

He couldn't believe that Kihyun actually had the nerve to talk back to him. He couldn't believe Kihyun was making moves on Changkyun. But most of all, he couldn't believe that Changkyun actually asked Kihyun to go out. He didn't ask anyone else, just Kihyun.

Was a few weeks all it took to move on?   
Because for him, he was regretting their breakup. He liked Hyungwon, but as the weeks without Changkyun passed by he felt incomplete. He realized he was only infatuated with Hyungwon, and that he still loves Changkyun.

He got up and headed towards his room _,_

_I'll make sure to ruin their date, it it's the last thing I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should i let Wonho ruin their date?   
> Will Changkyun and Kihyun develop their relationship to something more?   
>  Does Changkyun want to date someone else so soon?


	6. This is a competition

Changkyun and Kihyun were almost out the door.

Almost.

When Wonho, the little shit that he is, decides to interrupt them.

Dressed in a black muscle tee, which showed off his beefy biceps, and black ripped jeans, he really was planning on ruining Kihyun's day.

"oh, you guys are going out?" he asks as he approaches the two at the entryway, Kihyun looks at him furtively, to say he was unimpressed was an understatement

"yeah, hyung. We were planning on hanging out"   
_But you already know that, you ass._

  
Changkyun looks at Wonho questioningly, he noticed the mischievous gleam in the former's eyes, one he'd seen so many times when Wonho would pull pranks on Jooheon.

  
"you guys don't mind if I come with, right? I've been soooo bored lately" Wonho asks, with that Kihyun looks to Changkyun, hoping against all hope that he'd say no.

However, Changkyun, being the polite boy that he is, and maybe coz he was a little curious as to what Wonho was planning, agreed to let Wonho tag along with them.

As they were walking through the streets, they agreed to watch a movie instead of walking around aimlessly.

Changkyun was caught in the awkward position in between Kihyun and Wonho, trying to dissipate the tension in the atmosphere.

"it's suddenly hot now, huh?" Changkyun comments, he couldn't really come up with an interesting topic, so he decided the safest way is to talk about the weather.

Kihyun looks at Changkyun and notices the red flush on his face, "you wanna take a rest in the shade somewhere?" he asks, Changkyun shakes his head no and was about to reply when Wonho grabs his shoulder causing him to stop, "wait here" the older says as he hurriedly goes to a nearby stall, when he comes back he hands a snow cone to Changkyun "you shouldn't bear with the heat" he says as he ruffles the younger's hair, Kihyun glares at him openly keeping his mouth shut, he didn't want a repeat of last time's incident.

Changkyun notices the change in Kihyun's mood and decides to try and cheer him up, "hyung, say 'aaaahhhh'" he holds a spoonful of shaved ice to Kihyun motioning for the older to eat, Kihyun complies and sees Wonho leering at him behind Changkyun, he smiles widely and puts an arm around Changkyun's shoulder drawing the boy closer to his side "waaaah, this is yummy, you'll share some more with me right?" he asks Changkyun, the younger nods but Wonho interupts by saying "Kihyunnie, if you wanted some snow cone you should buy some for yourself". Changkyun looks at Wonho, wondering why he was so short with Kihyun, but decides not to press for answers.

They arrive at the cinema and maintains their positions with Changkyun in the middle. Halfway through the movie, Changkyun stiffens as he feels both his hands being enveloped by his hyungs' hands. He keeps his head straight, not wanting to draw any attention onto himself.

Kihyun interlaces their fingers and gives Changkyun's hand a light squeeze, Wonho does the same and traces light circles with his thumb.

Changkyun's mind is going into overdrive, he just wanted a relaxing day out, but this was turning into something weird.

His heart beating so fast and loud he swears he can hear it.

Needless to say, he didn't understand a thing about the movie. When they went home, the older two still wouldn't let his hands go, his face was probably as red as a tomato right now.

But then, for whom was his heart beating so fast for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hohoho.... Wonho's really selfish... so then who do you think Changkyun will choose?


	7. Lost chances

Soft lips.

That's what Changkyun felt as he was currently pinned against the kitchen wall, eyes wide with surprise as another person's lips touch his own.

 _Why is this happening?_ He thinks.

He snaps out of his thoughts as a hand grabs the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He struggles and pushes away the man who stole his lips.

"Hoseok hyung, what are you doing?!" he asks, as he wipes his lips, trying to cleanse it from the previous act.

The older looks at him, surprised that Changkyun had pushed him away "we've kissed before, it's nothing new" he replies as he leans over Changkyun, arms trapping the smaller between him and the wall.

"that was when we were together. You broke up with me, hyung" Changkyung says looking at Wonho straight in the eyes, challenging the older,

"Kyun, i know that I hurt you, but please give me another chance. I'm still in love with you" Wonho confesses, his voice trembling ever so slightly, but Changkyun heard it.

Oh, what he would give to have heard those words weeks ago. Then he would've jumped in the older's arms and he would've forgiven him right then and there

But it has been weeks.

Weeks of him hurting and suffering and trying to be okay by himself.

Without Wonho.

He looked at the other, wanting to shout hurtful words, wanting to slap him , wanting to just be spiteful. But he couldn't. He loved Wonho, loved him so much that even with all the negative thoughts running through his head he couldn't utter one single hurtful word. Tears started forming in his eyes, he looked up at the ceiling trying to control his emotions. He was feeling so many things all at once. Regret. Anger. Sadness.

He runs a hand through Wonho's hair and pulls him in a tight embrace. His body pressed against Wonho's. It was a familiar feeling, and yet he felt so much sadness from it. Because Wonho wasn't his home anymore, and sad as it may be, he was oddly ok with that.

He turns his head slightly and kisses the older's temple, "Hoseok, it took me weeks just to be at the point of being okay. I've come to accept that we're not meant to be together. You have to as well" he whispers.

Wonho pulls him in tighter, as if that would make the younger stay with him. But he knows he lost his chance, his stupidity made him lose the one person who looked at him so lovingly."Kyun, I-" he lets out a sob "Kyun, please.... Please, just,please" he doesn't even know what he's begging for at this point, but he just knows that he can't let the younger go. He just can't.

Unbeknownst to them, Kihyun had witnessed their little kitchen scene.

He leaves before he could see more, that and he was afraid that Changkyun might give in to Wonho and take him back.

 

His heart wouldn't be able to take it if it happened. He loved the maknae so much, he loved him even before he got together with Wonho.

 

He fell in love with the maknae who cracked jokes all the time, even if more than half of the jokes were word puns. He fell in love with the maknae who would always do what his hyungs say, and who was responsible and efficient with any given task. He fell in love with the maknae who stayed behind at the practice room just so he could go through their choreography one- ten more times. He fell in love with the maknae who was so concerned with his acne that he bought every cream, mask and cleanser he could get his hands on.

He loves Changkyun. And though in the past he couldn't confess right away, he thought this time, he'd have his chance.

This was all too much to bear for Kihyun, his heart would shatter if he hears that Changkyun and Wonho are together again.

He walks to Shownu's room and tells their leader he'd go to the company to practice. He walks out of the dorm, feet automatically taking him towards their company building. All the while scenarios of Changkyun and Wonho keep playing in his mind.

He doesn't even notice a motorbike honking at him until he turns his head the last second only to be blinded by bright headlights, then darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonho is being unfair again... Kihyun is??? Dead???? *gasp* 
> 
> Ohohoho this chapter is all the cliché romcom movies you've seen... This fic has to end at some point... So whose happy ending should i choose? Harharhar


	8. I had a near death experience!

Darkness.

Kihyun squeezed his eyes shut preparing for impact, but all he heard was the sound of the motorbike getting further away.

He let's out a breath he was holding, slowly opening his eyes.

 

 _I almost died!_   He thinks, _I almost f**king died! I'm too young to die! We just debuted, we haven't had our first win yet! I haven't gone out on an official date with Changkyun! I haven't got the chance to kiss him and hug him! I haven't even confessed to him yet!.... Confess! Right! I should confess! Life's too short to be hesitating all the time! Grab the bull by its horns!_

 

With that train off thought he turns back and heads for their dorm, half running as if his time was running out. He opens the door, not even bothering to announce his presence, and makes a mad dash towards the kitchen.

 

Empty.

 

 _Oh, I guess they were done talking,_ he thinks.

He walks towards their shared room and finds Changkyun lying comfortably on his bed.

  
"Changkyun" he calls out, the younger lifts his head up and smiles at him, causing his heart to skip a beat.

_No,no,no you can't have two near death experiences in one night._

"can i talk to you for a bit?" he looks around the room and sees Jooheon and Minhyuk fast asleep "in private" he adds.

Changkyun nods and carefully climbs down the bed, making sure not to cause any noise and wake his hyungs.

They head out to the veranda, the only place that offered any sort of privacy. And the place where Wonho and Changkyun broke up.

 

  
"hyung, is everything ok?" the maknae asks, he noticed that Kihyun was acting weird, not at all like the calm and sensible hyung he knows.

Kihyun looks him in the eyes, he opens his mouth but no words come out.

He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair. _I_

 _s he okay? He looks like he's having a lot of trouble. Maybe he needs to vent out his problems?_ "-ke you" Changkyun's thoughts stop once he hears Kihyun's voice, he looks at the older clearly confused

"sorry hyung, i wasn't listening. Can you say that again?".

Kihyun facepalms. _Of couse,_ he thinks, tonight was just not going well for him.

 

He looks back up at the maknae, straightens his back and says "Im Changkyun, I like you. Not just as a dongsaeng. Not just as a bandmate. I like you, more than friends. I want to be your boyfriend" _Damn, boy, you just confessed the shit outta that!_

 

Changkyun stares blankly at him, clearly shocked by what he heard.

"hyung" he begins "i just- i mean, this is all too much for me right now. With Wonho hyung and now you. I don't- can you... Can you give me some time to sort things out?" Changkyun asks, Kihyun breaks into a smile, taking the younger's hands in his own, "of course, take as much time as you need. But, you not rejecting me out right means i have a chance, right?" Kihyun sqeezes his hands and Changkyun nods, a blush settling on his cheeks.

 

They go back inside the dorm and head straight to bed. A few more days of vacation before they start promoting for their 4th mini album. Changkyun lies in bed wide awake. The day has been an emotional roller coaster ride for him, with Wonho asking him to get back together and Kihyun asking to be his boyfriend.

  
He sighs, wanting nothing more than to just rest, but his mind keeps replaying Wonho hugging him and begging him to stay with him, then of Kihyun confessing to him and of how Kihyun smiled when he didn't reject him immediately.

 

He tosses and turns in his bed, but his mind was too busy thinking. Just then he hears Kihyun go up his bed, nudging his leg to make some room for him, Changkyun complies scooting closer to the wall. Kihyun lies down next to him, bringing his hands up to touch Changkyun's cheek, "can't sleep?" he asks, before Changkyun could respond, Kihyun pulls the maknae's head to his chest hugging him close, and humming a random lullaby to put Changkyun to sleep. He runs his hands along soft brown fluffy hair, wishing everyday would be just like this. He drifts off to sleep with that thought.


	9. I'll die

Early next morning, Wonho wakes up and heads towards Changkyun's room.

Last night's conversation didn't go exactly as he'd hoped, with Changkyun asking him to stop and let him go. Needless to say, he couldn't. As he lay in bed last night, all he could think of were the times him and Changkyun were together.

Them going out on dates just hanging out at the coffee shop, or shopping for clothes. Them cuddling in front of the tv, just because. Him kissing Changkyun for the thousandth time, of Changkyun breathing heavily under him until he became a moaning mess. He thought of the times he woke up next to the younger, and when holding him just felt so right.

So when he finds Kihyun in bed with Changkyun, he couldn't help himself. All he saw was red. He quickly grabbed Kihyun by the collar of his shirt and dragged him down the bed.

 

Kihyun was not at all prepared for such a rude awakening, he couldn't even process what was happening. All he knew was his body had gone from sleeping soundly next to Changkyun to being dragged outside the living room area.

Wonho shoved the smaller into the sofa, he began pacing back and forth, clenching and unclenching his hands _._

 _It's wrong to punch a member, right?_ He thinks, _but maybe if i punch him in certain areas that are hidden, I could probably get away with it._

"Hyung, what the hell?!" Kihyun asks, oblivious as to the thoughts currently brewing in Wonho's head

"you!- you just - you can't just!" Wonho was so angry he couldn't even put words together, but Kihyun understood, he understood what the older was trying to say.

  
"hyung, we just shared a bed" he explains, Wonho whips his head to look at Kihyun, _God can this kid irritate me_ , "why does there need to be a bed sharing?! At all?!" he asks, trying with all his might not to punch the younger.

  
"he couldn't sleep. He kept tossing and turning in his bed. I felt bad for him, maybe a bit guilty" Kihyun replies

"wh-why?"

  
"because I confessed to him" Kihyun looks at Wonho straight in the eyes, wishing to the heavens above that Wonho won't lose it.

  
He doesn't, but only because their conversation was cut off by an angelic greeting

  
"Good morning" Changkyun says as he sleepily makes his way to the bathroom.

Wonho flashes Kihyun a look that says ' we're not done ' and heads off to the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

After washing his face Changkyun makes his way to the couch and sits beside Kihyun, he was still sleepy but he was awoken by his grumbling stomach.

"Kihyun-hyung, I'm hungry" he whines, Kihyun stiffles a giggle, noting how adorable Changkyun looks at the moment.

"well then, we're out of eggs and stuff, so all i can offer you is grilled cheese or some cereals. Which one do you want?" Kihyun asks as he stands up to head to the kitchen, "hmmm, cereals i guess, I might become a pig-pup again if I eat something greasy in the morning" Changkyun says as he lies down on the sofa, "I dont mind having a pig-pup for a boyfriend though, you're huggable that way" Kihyun jokes as he makes his way to the kitchen, failing to notice the blush that settled on the maknae's face.

Wonho heard their conversation, but held back from commenting because he didn't want Changkyun getting stressed so early in the morning. But the last comment Kihyun made about a boyfriend just didn't sit right with Wonho. He quickly finished his cereal, washed the bowl he used and exited the kitchen just as Kihyun entered.

He saw Changkyun lying on the sofa and decided to push his luck with the younger, lying down next to the maknae and wrapping his arms around him before Changkyun could say anything. He pulled the youngest close to him,trying to calm himself with the other's presence.

"hyung, what're you doing?" Changkyun asks, as he tries to wiggle his way out of the older's hold

  
"I'll die" Wonho says "I'll die if you leave me. I swear, I'll kill myself if I can't have you back"

  
Changkyun looks up at the older, surprised at what he was hearing. "you don't mean that, right? You're not that kind of person Hoseok"

  
Wonho looks straight at Changkyun, "you don't know how far I'd go for you" he replies, it sent chills up Changkyun's spine, he knew Wonho was serious.

So then, what was he supposed to do now?


	10. Let me go

To say Changkyun was distraught was an understatement.

Wonho basically just threatened to commit suicide if he didn't go back to him, but he can't go back to him.

He can't go back to Wonho when he doesn't feel the same way for the older anymore.

_____________

 

"Again!" Shownu instructed. They've been practicing their new choreography for more than 2 hours already, but Changkyun, Wonho and Kihyun kept messing up.

"hyung, maybe we should rest a bit. We're clearly not getting anywhere" Jooheon says as he looks around the practice room. Shownu nods and gives them a 10 minute break.

Changkyun takes a seat at the far corner of the room, he had been silent all day long, thoughts of Wonho swimming in his head. He hadn't even noticed Hyungwon sitting next to him, until he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

"hey" Hyungwon greets, "um, has Wonho spoken to you? He looks a bit off."

  
"hyung, I-" Changkyun starts, he looks at Hyungwon, his eyes desperate and needing help. Hyungwon sees the distress in the younger's eyes, he grabs Changkyun's hand and leads him outside the practice room and towards the rooftop.

Wonho sees them slip out of the practice room, and holds himself back from following them. Kihyun also notices Changkyun and Hyungwon but shrugs it off, he noticed Changkyun's change in mood but he couldn't approach the younger with Wonho constantly glaring at him every time he tries to approach the maknae.

\-----------

The air at the rooftop was cool and refreshing, Changkyun liked it. Just being there seemed to clear his mind a bit.

"so, what's up?" Hyungwon asks

  
"hyung, I - Wonho-hyung said-" he starts, but tears started rolling down his face, Hyungwon saw how the younger was suffering and pulled him in for a hug, rubbing comforting circles on his back.

Changkyun clung to Hyungwon's shirt like his life depended on it, sobbing loudly and trying to catch his breath at the same time.

"it's ok, take it slowly" Hyungwon says, "I'm right here"

  
"hyung, he said he'd kill himself.... If I - if I don't go back to him" Changkyun confesses as he tries to wipe away his tears,

"seriously? He said that?" Hyungwon asks, clearly shocked at what he heard.

  
Changkyun nods his head silently,

"Don't." Hyungwon says after a few minutes of silence.

Changkyun looks up at the older, "hyung, if I don't he might really..." he trails off, Hyungwon hugs the younger tighter

"I'll take care of it, Changkyunnie, you just have to decide whether you want to go back to Wonho because you still love him or not" with that, Changkyun breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that someone is willing to help him.

They both go back to the practice room, Changkyun looking a bit better that before. Practice resumed, with Wonho still messing up most of the time.

 

Apparently, Hyungwon 's patience had run out, "Hoseok, outside now!" he shouts at the older.

Everyone was shocked at Hyungwon's sudden outburst, but Wonho complies and heads out the door, Hyungwon follows and spares one last glance at Changkyun before heading out.

"care to tell me why you're being bitchy with me?" Wonho asks, iffed that the younger had the gall to yell at him, but Hyungwon simply stared down at the older

"you threatened Changkyun so he would go back to you?!" Hyungwon asks, "how selfish can you f**cking be?! He's not your possession, hyung! He's a person! Would you really be happy knowing that he's only with you because of guilt?! He's not in love with you anymore, Hoseok, you have to accept that!" Hyungwon states, clearly out of breath after the litany of lecturing he just said.

 

Wonho looked taken aback by the whole thing, "Hyungwon, you don't understand! It hurts! It hurts knowing he's not with me"

  
"hyung, you hurt him first. If he takes you back, it should be because he still loves you, not because he's scared that you'd kill yourself" Hyungwon says

" if you really love him, don't make him suffer like this, hyung. You're breaking him" he adds.

\-------

Wonho knows.

He knows what he said was wrong. He knew making Changkyun stay with him out of guilt was wrong, but he didn't know what else to do.

After Hyungwon's sermon though, he realized that he was making Changkyun suffer.

He knew it, but he just didn't want to admit that he was hurting the maknae more and more.

\-----------

After practice, Wonho pulled Changkyun aside, he wanted to talk to Changkyun and to set things right. The younger looked nervous and uneasy, clearly dreading whatever Wonho was about to say.

It hurts, it hurts him to see Changkyun like that. He pulled the younger into his arms, planting soft kisses on the top of his head.

"I'm sorry" he starts "I know I'm hurting you so much. Hyungwon actually had to lecture me. But I just- I love you so much Kyun. So so so so much. I thought that I had to have you regardless of the consequences. But Kyun, continuing to hurt you like this was never my intention"

  
Changkyun slowly wraps his arms around Wonho, returning the hug. "hyung, I love you. You'll always, always be someone special to me. But I can't be with you, I don't want to lie to you and to myself"


	11. You idiot

Eat. Practice. Sleep. Repeat.

For the past few days, that's all they've been doing. Their comeback is a few weeks away, but with open concerts, guest appearances on shows and isac they haven't had much time to focus on their 4th mini album.

Changkyun barely had time to think of anything else, much less his feelings for Kihyun. To be honest, he actually forgot about it; that is until today.

They had a day off as their reward for winning gold on the archery division on isac, and while most of the members decided to just stay in the dorm and sleep-in, Kihyun had dragged his ass out to some family restaurant a few blocks away from the dorm.

Initially, Changkyun thought nothing of it, he assumed Kihyun just wanted to eat out. So there they were, in a corner booth of the restaurant waiting for their order to be served.

Changkyun was absent- mindedly playing with his chopsticks, humming some random tune from their album; Kihyun gazed at the man across him, taking in all the little details of his face, the perfect angle of his nose, his dimples. He loved him, but he didn't know how the other felt. With all the drama with Wonho, he didn't know if the younger was ready to start a new relationship. Kihyun didn't want to pressure Changkyun into anything, but at the same time he longed to be with him. To put all of the love he felt into actions.

Changkyun noticed that Kihyun was staring at gim intently, he felt slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed for some reason.

  
"Kihyun-hyung, if you stare at me too much I might melt, you know?" he jokes

  
"I can't help it Kyun, you're just too beautiful" the other replied.

Changkyun immediately turned a deep shade of red, one might think smoke would come out of his ears.

  
"hyung, how can you say something like that with a straight face?" he asks, to which Kihyun responds with " it's the truth though. But then again, I'd say you're more good looking that Hyungwon just because I'm in love with you"

  
Changkyun stares at him blankly for a while, then bows his head in sheer embarrassment.

He then remembered. He remembered Kihyun confessing to him.

Looking back on it, he liked Kihyun. He liked him as his hyung, he liked him as his bandmate, he liked him as his roommate, he liked him as a friend. But could he possibly like him as something more than that?

Before he could think about it further, their food was served which they ate with much gusto.

 

On their way back to the dorm, Kihyun took Changkyun's hand and interlaced it with his own.

  
"look, I don't want to rush you into anything" Kihyun begins " I know you just got out of a relationship, and i don't want to put pressure on you. So about my confession from before-" Kihyun turns to the younger before he continues "take as long as you want. For you to figure out if you can possibly like me in the same way. I don't mind waiting"

  
Changkyun nods his head slowly, thanking the heavens above that he doesn't have to give Kihyun an answer any time soon.

 ____________

 

A few months after, 4 months to be exact, the group had finished their 1st asia concert tour.

They've come a long way, getting their first win on their 4th mini album. Performing with Bigbang at the MAMA and winning album of the year. Everything had gone well. Wonho and Changkyun are back to being friends. Wonho started dating Shownu, of all people (everyone was surprised, but saw how well they got on together). And as for Kihyun and Changkyun, well....

At the moment Changkyun was pacing back and forth their dorm. Kihyun had gone out with Minhyuk to buy some groceries for the week.

And after 4 months -of Changkyun being coddled by Kihyun- the maknae has certainly developed a massive crush.

He was planning on confessing to Kihyun today, he got stuff ready like candles, balloons, flowers the whole romantic set!

But, as he was trying to light up the candles, he kept breaking the match sticks on account of his very shaky hands.

Jooheon, his accomplice in the whole "confess to Kihyun like Monica proposed to Chandler" event (okay, so maybe Jooheon was the mastermind of the whole thing. And maybe he watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S a few times too many) saw how nervous the younger was, he hands Changkyun the lighter and says "dude, chill out. You already know he likes you"

  
"that was 4 months ago Jooheon -hyung, what if his feelings changed?!" Changkyun asks, his eyes filled with so much anxiety,

"Kyun, I've seen the way he treats you, the way he looks at you, the way he smiles at you. If he isn't in love with you then i don't even know what to call it".

With the set up done, the living room looked chic with the lights turned off and the candles giving off a soft glow. Changkyun stood in the middle of the room palms sweaty,his heart beating wildly against his chest.

He hears the door open, shoes being taken off, he hears Minhyuk saying something about him volunteering to put the groceries away and for Kihyun to head straight to the living room (real subtle Minhyuk).

Kihyun enters the living room area, his eyes wide as he sees Changkyun in the middle of the room.

  
"are we having some sort of séance tonight?" he jokes, but Changkyun bites his lower lip trying to control his emotions. Kihyun walks up to Changkyun and sees that the younger is close to tears, he doesn't say anything, he just looks at the younger in the eyes and waits.

  
"Kihyun, I-" Changkyun attempts to start but his emotions get the better of him and he chokes out a sob, Kihyun smiles at the younger and envelops him in his arms.

"took you long enough, idiot" he says as he kisses the younger on the lips.


End file.
